だいじょうぶ

It's ok if I don't know,

It's ok if I'm the last to know,

It's ok if no one tells me,

It's ok if anyone refuse to tell me,

It doesn't really matter, 

No, it doesn't matter at all.

The less things that I know the better it is for me as I can just live my life without thinking of any other things except 'bout myself and revolves around me. Knowing meaning you'll be pulled into the circle unconsciously, then your thoughts will always imprint about the issue and even small actions or words would trigger your thoughts into thinking the subjects involve. Why all the hassle of thinking and taking care of other people's business when it does not bring any benefit to you or whatsoever. Knowing and not knowing will not increase or decrease, gain or lost, receive or taken back anything from me. What do I have to lose by not knowing or what do I gain by knowing. I can only conclude in one word - nothing. 

Sometimes when I think of a getaway, I often find myself sitting in a meadow where the wind is blowing with the sound of grass waving side to side and the scent of various fragrant flower fills the air; Another place would be looking at the vast sea with cool sea breeze blowing at my direction looking on the evening sky, sitting on soft white sand, listening to the music by the ear, capturing a different scent

All by myself in my little getaway because noises of people spoils the whole atmosphere and ruin my sanctuary. Just like a stranger invading and trampling around comfort zone. Being alone can be the best thing a person can have during a getaway like mine. 

Lonely? Loneliness overcome ✓, the tears on the cheek be my witness and evidence, so it is not a problem on its own nor a problem related. It gets tired having to always put on various variety of show to keep the entertainment going. The void I've found peace with it and came to my senses on how would I resolved it thus making the problem into a statement. 

It is for the better that I bear the consequences that comes my way rather than being arrogant and ignorant about it even though I might get clueless at first or being left in the dark. 

Reaching to this point is not by choice not by free will but the situation has just fallen into my lap where it is out of my control. Therefore, taking one step at a time will be my strategy in taking on life's challenges.