blank moment

I feel like I'm a walking zombie waiting for my energy to go low. Flicking from one tab to another, playing game to avoid reality, watching clips after clips, looking for drama or movie to watch. I feel like somebody could just take me away for a moment. I know I can't run away from reality but I really DON'T WANT to handle it right now.

It's times like this that gets me thinking all sorts of 'options'.

I always find that there's a lot of things I wanna do but there's so little time. But somehow, is it not really so little time, instead, so little courage?

Ahh.... Sitting down and daydream is getting me nowhere! Action is what's important. So action it is that I'm going to take.

1st, get back to 50kg! it has been how many year already? 4 years and gained 4kg from there. Bad sign for me coz the weight is getting to the wrong places! WRONG places. Don't mind me. only to me, I need to lose that much according to my standards... ONLY to ME!

Sometimes I get some crazy ideas and figure out how to make it work, then it just backfires with doubts. So I guess I'm not much of a risk taker. hmm?

This is so killing me... I'm so blank that I have do not have the slightest idea of what I'm talking 'bout here.

Do u?