Over thinking till not thinking anymore

Source: Google Image

I'm actually a bit reluctant to put out. Have been sitting on this post for a good 3 months, I admit there is fear in me just thinking of how to structure this nicely. But, if this is not out of my system, I'm afraid I might not be able to move on with my life. The struggle is real.

Change is good. That is how one can know if they are capable to face new waves of challenges. This is an obstacle that I have yet to overcome.

Times are different now, I can feel it in the air. The pace that I'm going, slowly I'm beginning to forget the end. But during this period, I actually have the chance of learning more about myself. The road to self discovery does not confine to only when you take a trip. When you are taken out of the zone that you've just adjusted to, that's where you are forced to learn.

1. Being true to myself

Even if it means I have to walk down the road alone, I better be walking in my own shoes than of others. I've reached to this epiphany of not wasting time to impress people or trying to be in the crowd. *sings: I wish that I could be like the cool kids*  Been there, done that, not worth another try. It's fine not being the popular kid or the cool gang. Less drama, more to observe.

2. Take control

There was a point in my life that I've actually just gave up on taking any roles other than the basics. I just wanted to slip into the crowd without people knowing. I did it together with the skills that I've once possess, lost in the crowd. The wall that was already built requires a lot more energy to break it down. Even with explosive, the debris are still in the air

Time will wait for no one, and time will definitely pass. The slower I pick myself up, I will be left behind on my own accord. There's no one to be blamed when I don't even have control of myself.

3. Keeping my sanity

It is tiring to guess who has pure intentions or wondering am I being judge for what I say or do. Instead of reaching out to comfort food, I have my cuddly stuff toys that will definitely not judge me. Enough with mind games throughout the day. At the end of the day, I need my me-time.

Certainly I still have questions left unanswered.

Surely there will have higher hills to climb.

Undeniably I will still doubt myself.

Still it is not the end of my world